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My faith, while less orthodox, has certainly matured. And though most people think I'm the difficult one in the relationship they don't realize he is of stronger opinions he just let's me take the heat from outsiders. I would have been deeply insulted if anyone talked about me the way people are talking about this girl He needs to tell her there is a no chance he will convert, that he is not comfortable with his children being raised Mormon if he isn'tthat she cannot ever expect a temple marriage with him. And the you've seen the CES letter.
However, and this might sound sad. I have observed in relationships among friends and family inside and outside of the church that holding a temple recommend does not guarantee a strong, happy marriage. At least people of different races are aware of those differences, and are on alert to deal with them.